Saturday, February 28, 2015

Sassy Saturday: Oh my Oscars!

Hello, my loves - and welcome back to the Chick Lit Kitchen! Can you believe it's the last day of February already?! 

I know what you're all thinking, of course: it feels like it's been forever since my last post (since last Sunday's Holden & Feminism treatise, to be exact), but things have gotten busy with school and...well, just life in general. You know how it is. I hope ya'll can forgive me my blogging sins - and that you're looking forward to the LAST EVER INSTALLMENT of the Holden & I series, Holden & Salinger, coming tomorrow, Sunday, March 1!

Anyhoo, today's Sassy Saturday post is probably entirely cliche and exactly what you all expected, but I'm a white female under the age of 30, so you knew it was coming: Oh my Oscars! 

Now, I didn't even watch the Academy Awards - although I heard I missed a pretty ballin' performance from Anna Kendrick, and I couldn't be more psyched for Eddie Redmayne's win for the Theory of Everything - but of course I had to log on the night after and gawk at all the haute couture. So, in honor of my favorite Oscars looks, I'll be using this Sassy Saturday to bombard you with fashion porn. Enjoy, and stay sassy!

The 87th Annual Academy Awards Yearbook

Best Dressed
Source: Us Weekly

Source: Us Weekly

Hands-down, Zoe Saldana is my pick for Best Dressed 2015. From her effortless awards to after-party transformation, to the versatility of her hair (that deconstructed fishtailthough!), both her architectural Atelier Versace showstopper and her black tie Prabal Gurung gown stole my heart. And probably her wallet.

Best Back

Source: Ok! Magazine

Now, beware of bias here, as I worship the ground Anna Kendrick dresses on and absorb each of her witty tweets as gospel - but I adored Anna Kendrick's Thakoon dress almost as much backwards as I did forwards. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

Most Likely to Shop Vintage
Source: Lainey Gossip

Source: Lainey Gossip

Emma Stone's fashion choices are always impeccable, but I happened to think her Oscars ensembles this year were especially chic. Her after-party look was straight out of the roaring 20s and her golden gown reminded me of the Great Gatsby - which was precisely what I loved about them! Please do note her sweet hairdo, which I would like to copy and nail immediately. 

Best Maternity Style
Source: Ok! Magazine


Keira Knightley is actually glowing - and to help matters along, she looks like Venus straight out of a Boticelli painting. J'adore the text detail on her flowy Valentino gown, her golden makeup, and her Blair Waldorf-esque waves (complete with the signature headband - although I doubt the resemblance was intentional...).

Best Neckline
Source: E! Online

Source: DataLife Engine

Jennifer Lopez is, well, Jennifer Lopez. Nobody does what J-Lo does quite like J-Lo - and I don't think anyone could have pulled off that plunging Chanel v-neck but the maven herself.  Not only do I envy her cleavage, but I also, of course, envy her gown all that much more: she looks like a sparkling Cinderella! The prom queen would pale in comparison.

Cutest (and Best Dressed!) Couple
Source: My Old Sport

Source: Toovia

Source: About Style

Chris Pratt is flawless. Anna Faris is flawless. Naturally, they belong together. Together, clad in Tom Ford and Zuhair Murad respectively, they were the fiercest and funniest couple on the red carpet! (And, just for the record, Anna was also a strong contender for Best Hair...)

Most Likely to Become Queen

Meryl Streep is the Beyonce of her generation: she can do no wrong. Meryl slays everything she's in - and the Oscars was, of course, no exception. The Huffington Post said it better than I could: Meryl was "a walking masterpiece" in her sophisticated dress-and-blazer duo. 

Smartest Girl on the Red Carpet
Source: Lainey Gossip

Now, I love everything Chloe Moretz has ever worn - and I do mean ever - but let's put all fashion aside for the time being and talk about practicality for a moment: her dress has pockets. POCKETS, I TELL YOU!! I guarantee that everybody else on the red carpet was probably standing there, 110% jealous, wondering how the heck they let a teenager outsmart them. And Chloe Moretz probably just smiled, waved, and stuck her hands in her pockets like the total bad@$$ she is. 

The New Girl in Town ( aka everybody's Girl Crush)
Source: POPSugar

Source: Mirror UK

Before 50 Shades of Gray hit theaters, scarcely anybody even knew who Dakota Johnson was - but at the Oscars, she was a scarlet beacon in a sea of pale pastels. I love her bangs, I love the shoulder details and sexy slit of her Yves Saint Laurent dress (the sheer fact that it's YSL basically cemented her into my fashion Bible), and I love the fact that she took her mother, Melanie Griffith, as her date to the Oscars like a total sweetheart. And honestly, guys - can we just shut up about their fight already? I'll make one concession: if you've never gotten into a fight with your mom before, then you can talk....

*crickets chirp*

 I think I've made my point.

Most Dapper 

Eddie Redmayne, as a former model, is just one of those men whose every move is somehow wholly irresistible - and, adorably so, he clearly has no idea. If I could only get my boyfriend to wear Alexander McQueen, I would be golden. I'm so happy for his Best Actor win as Stephen Hawking in the Theory of Everything, but even more so, I can't wait to see him broaden minds as a transgender woman in the Danish Girl, a movie about the world's first recipient of sex-reassignment surgery, Lili Elbe.

Most Inspirational Icon

Reese Witherspoon is one of my idols, which can't possibly come as a surprise to any of you - I mean, she played Elle Woods, so how could she not be?! Actually, it wasn't until I read her Glamour cover story in January 2015 that Witherspoon truly captured my heart. At the Oscars, I was inspired by her clean-and-classic silhouette, the sparkly touch of her sparingly-added jewelry, and her nude makeup, as well as her strength and fearlessness on the red carpet. 

Most Showstopping
Source: Got Celeb

Source: OK! Magazine

Amy Adams, who skipped the Oscars ceremony and went straight to the after-party, was a hot competitor for the title of "Smartest Girl on the Red Carpet" - but I just had to give her Old Hollywood glamour some special recognition with her own title as Most Showstopping. Her Atelier Versace gown and Marilyn-inspired beauty almost-literally took my breath away. Oh, and as a side note: I can't wait to see her in the movie Big Eyes!

Best Hair
Source: Ace Showbiz

Okay, so I adored the edgy Bohemian vibe of Jaime King's Oscars look anyways, but let's just dedicate a few moments to her hair. Her shiny, voluminous tresses make me want to cut bangs again - and trust me, I hated my bangs. Nobody let me do it! NOBODY!!!


And, last but not least, here's Miranda Kerr just being Miranda Kerr...

Source: the New Daily

Source: Saw First

Second runner-up for Best Back, no buts about it - and I love her Old Hollywood Glamour vibe, too! That fabulous orangey-red lipstick gets me every time; Miranda Kerr has got to be the most tasteful VS Angel I've ever seen. And, of course, kudos to her for being one of the highest paid models in the world, writing two self-help books, pioneering her own line of organic skincare, and designing her own line of tea china, which I will probably be lusting after for months now that I know it exists (whew, can I breathe now?!). Let's celebrate Kerr's beauty and her brains!




As always, thanks for reading the Chick Lit Kitchen - and stay tuned for the final installment of Holden & I, coming tomorrow, March 1st!

XOXO, Haley


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